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Everyone needs the love, security, closeness, and belonging that comes from relationships with others. Marriage is one of the most significant relationships. Its loss causes much of the stress and emotional turmoil of divorce.
Not all individuals experience loss with the same intensity, in the same way, or at the same time. Some people experience loss of closeness when they realize the relationship is ending. For others, the idea of separation can be overwhelming, and they hang onto the hope that the relationship can be saved.
Other losses resulting from separation and divorce undermine a person's sense of security and well-being. Although they do not realize it, many people become attached to a way of life, a home and possessions, pets, and daily contact with children.
Divorce is a crisis that affects a person's identity. Individuals no longer occupy the role of husband or wife. At the same time, they must rethink changes in their roles as parents, workers, and caretakers. People often are caught off guard by the need to reconsider questions such as "Who am I?" and "What do I want to do with my life?"
Although individuals are different, most adults need two or three years to adapt to the changes separation and divorce bring. People who also encounter problems such as job loss or illness during this period need additional time for adjustment.
Dealing with the stress and change from a separation or divorce is not easy. It helps to become familiar with your sources of stress and your style of coping. Take time to think about ways that you can take charge of your life by controlling your environment and your anger with positive coping skills.
Realize that adjusting to divorce takes time. Be sure to pat yourself on the back occasionally as you move forward in re-establishing your life. Baby steps toward adjustment can sometimes be as significant as giant steps. The important thing is to keep moving forward .
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| The information provided in this web site or via links, is for informational purposes only. It does not take the place of, nor is it intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a professional. |
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| The Courage To Love Again: Creating Happy, Healthy Relationships After Divorce by Sheila Ellison |
| How to Fall Out of Love: How To Free Yourself of Love That Hurts and Find The Love That Heals by Deborah Phillips, Robert Judd |
| Healing The Divorced Heart by Rose Sweet |
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